Level 3.

No, that's not the name of the game pictured above. Instead, it's how far I leveled up in Fragile Dreams before I decided to shit-can it from my collection. Why? It's quite simple, actually: the combat really, really sucked. Like, really. "Oh, but if you can muster enough strength to power through the combat parts, the rest of the game is a lot better," some might say to me. Sorry, but I shouldn't have to muster the strength to get through a game. If I'm not convinced I should even be holding the controller, it's a safe bet I shouldn't be. It's a shame, though, because everything besides the gameplay was working for me. The atmosphere was foreboding and desolate; the score hit all the right notes; the story had a lot of potential; and yet I traded it in after only about two hours of game time. Sad day.

OK, so, the combat. Not one aspect of it did anything for me. I started off with a stick, and I hit some dogs over the head with it. Fair enough. But then I hit some floating jellyfish with it. Then I found a bamboo sword and hit some dogs and jellyfish with it. Then my bamboo sword broke, so I switched back to the stick. Then it broke, as well. As it turns out, a broken stick was the last weapon I was able to wield before I gave up, and that doesn't sit right with me. Oh, well, I guess, because maneuvering around borderline-retarded enemy A.I. that have the worst dodging abilities known to man or computer didn't really make me want to find a better weapon. Take the dogs, for example. When you hit them, they automatically jump backwards, no matter where they are. So my main plan of attack was to always angle my swing towards a wall or object in the environment, that way when they jumped back, they didn't actually move. Instead of the dog leaping out of harm's way, it just backwards-dry-humped the wall while I beat it in the face. Not how I would like to go out, but I'm not a post-apocalyptic canine that appears into, and disappears from existence whenever a human being walks past me.

The way weapons break in Fragile Dreams is just about the stupidest thing on the planet. Apparently, there's no formula to follow or weapon HP to keep track of. Shit just breaks sometimes. And I can say from experience that my only two weapons (which sucked anyways) both broke shortly after about an hour of playing. If the developers wanted to force people to use different weapons, hey, I'm all for it. But they can't make it happen by random chance. Theoretically, then, it could break after the first time I used it. There's no strategy or brainpower needed to play along with that scenario; it's called shitty design. And compounding the brain-dead weapon system is the fact that it can be overly-cumbersome to aim and successfully hit enemies sometimes. If I press down on the nunchuk, I would normally expect my character to turn towards the camera. Oh, no. Not in Fragile Dreams. It works similarly to Silent Hill: Origins, only less-so. I had to maneuver the flashlight with the Wii-mote in order to face the enemy I wanted to hit, and it got obnoxious pretty quickly when I was whiffing half of the time, only to get hit for 50 damage from a fucking jellyfish. Why are there floating jellyfish? I don't know. And I didn't mention this before, but why are there person-less pants with blue flames instead of upper torsos laughing at me? I don't know, but whatever.

The main point I want to drive home here is that the first few hours in a game are arguably the most important. And with a game like Fragile Dreams, I was looking forward more to the adventuring aspects than the combat. What I found, however, was that the world made me want to push forward, but the game itself kept holding me back. It's one reason I can't stand most JRPGs, but I thought this one could have been different. Sure, it could have been, but the gameplay is sadly but surely stuck in the same boring and tedious level-grind mentality that plagues pretty much all the games I hate. So, in the end, hate wins out again. This is one giant victory for hate.


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Getting Emotional.

Recently I've seen the argument put forth that games cannot, by default, elicit the same emotions that movies do. Reason being, simply, that you're looking at computer-generated characters instead of real, living, breathing people. Is that actually the case? Is that a very strict limitation of games that can never be overcome? I give you two examples - one from an actual live performance, and one from a video game. The actual live performance is longer, but for the sake of my comparison, I think that's okay. I won't give you the insights into the Clapton song if you don't know what he's singing about, because the same context isn't readily available for the Silent Hill example. I'll simply place them next to each other and let you come to a conclusion.

Eric Clapton:





Silent Hill (ignore everything after the initial song):


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Immersion Factor OVER 9000?!?!?

It's not often a game pulls me in so completely. So completely, in fact, that I'm going to declare Silent Hill: Shattered Memories one of the most immersive games I've ever played. Every aspect is designed to make the player feel like they are part of the world, and it's working on me hook, line and sinker.

I'm not going to go into all the details just yet; I'll save that for when I've finished the game. Instead, I want to focus on a single mechanic: Harry's cell phone. When you hit the minus button on the Wiimote, Harry will take out his phone and hold it up to the screen. There are 9 menu items to pick from, including saving your game, dialing a number of your choice, listening to/reading messages, and using the phone's camera. There are phone numbers written all over the town, and if you dial one of them, you'll get some kind of an answer. It may just be an answering machine, but an answer nonetheless. And the genius part comes in once you hit "call". Not content to simply let Harry hold the phone up to his ear in the game, the developers decided to have the player do the same. The audio from the phone comes in through the Wiimote speaker, and let me tell you, it only adds about 985, 543% to feeling like you're really in Silent Hill. I almost said "hello" the first time I answered a call, and I did one of those things where you look at your phone, put it back to your ear, look at it again, put it back to your ear, etc. It's so wondrously simple an idea, yet its effect is monumental.

As I said, you can also choose to whip out the built-in camera. Doing so will cause Harry to hold it sideways, and you can take a picture of any and everything you want to. And just like talking on the phone, there's a little extra bit of immersion added to the camera. The phone's screen actually has the distortion and lag that real camera phones have, and walking around with it in the middle of your field of view makes everything seem even more disturbing. It's another small, genius move that puts a stupid grin on my face. Of course, there is an actual use for the camera besides taking random pictures of the game world. At times, you'll be prompted in some fashion to take out the camera. When you take a picture of a certain area, you'll get a voicemail or text sent to you from different people. It hasn't happened to me a lot yet, so I don't know the full extent of this part of the gameplay. Regardless, it's yet another use of the engrossing phone mechanic.

Even only a couple hours in, I already have so much more I want to talk about, but I'll hold my tongue until (probably) this weekend when I finish the game. I've heard it's relatively short, but I think I'm done measuring a game's worth in hours. The experience is what I'm after, not a mathematical division of hours played and dollars paid. So, yea. Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. Great stuff.

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Conduit Impressions

Let's get this right out of the way. There are sooooo many other FPS games with similar plots. There are sooooo may other FPS games that offer a robust multiplayer mode. The Level design won't blow you away....hallway....open room....bad guys...shoot....repeat over and over. Many games in the genre also look a lot better than what you will get with Wii's "The Conduit", however this little gem boasts one of the most immersive customizable control schemes you have ever played on any system..........period.

I have spent about three hours with the campaign mode so far and it has been an absolute joy to play. There is a huge learning curve while you get use to the motion controls, but once you do.....you'll be pulling off head shots and chucking grenades with relative ease. The big hook in the game is the aforementioned control scheme. Moving a little too slow....change it...don't like where the re-load button is....change it. For the most part, there is no control layout that is set in stone. I've never had such a good time tweaking my controller options in a video game until now. When you are in the menu screen making adjustments you basically stay in the game while taking no damage from enemies. This allows you customize on the fly and should be THE standard for any FPS in the future to follow.

Before the Wii came out, people were anticipating the very thing that High Voltage has created with "The Conduit." An immersive FPS built from the ground up with the Wii waggle in mind. They have proved that it can be done........and done beautifully I might add. Now I still love my standard controller, however it's nice to have something different on the menu when I'm craving that type of experience. If the Wii is your only console.....it is simply a no brainer purchase.

I totally praise High Voltage for what they have accomplished. Now I will admit they did sacrifice things like enemy a.i. and interesting levels, but their focus on making the controls truly exceptional outweigh the shortcomings. Future projects from this developer are already making this Wii owner totally giddy with excitement.

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Friggin mad for MADWORLD!

Clover studios had always been one of my favorite game developers. Whether I was spanking the behinds of the female opponents of God Hand or getting my ass spanked by one of the insane bosses of Viewtiful Joe, I knew that I could bank on a unique gaming experience. Well, Clover is gone if only by name and reborn as Platinum Games with an all new adult themed experience for the waggly Wii. Madworld brings something to Nintendo's console that has been sorely lacking for quite a while.........a hardcore game for hardcore gamers. I truly hope this does well and other developers take notice. This is how you do insane action games for this system.

Jack......just Jack is a contestant for a gameshow called Deathwatch. The idea is to eviscerate all comers and stay alive for big cash rewards. I haven't finished the game yet, but it seems that Jack has his own personal reasons for wanting to be involved in such a suicidal set up.

I often wondered what a video game based on Frank Miller's Sin City would look like. Clearly Platinum was inspired by Frank's violent underworld and that's not a bad thing. There is an old children's joke that goes "what's black and white and red all over?" The answer is no longer a skunk with a bloody nose..... it's the main character Jack of Madworld spilling gallons upon gallons of his foes blood across the TV screen in the most sadistic ways possible. I can honestly say that it is a video game first to see a character get a spike put up their ass and have it come out their mouth in a beautiful fountain of crimson death! It doesn't hurt that the insane visuals are complimented by solid game mechanics.

The waggle never feels forced and it's always fun. Jack has a prosthetic right arm with built in chainsaw that you use the remote to slash vertically or horizontally with. You can also beat your opponents with a punch button. There are a few context sensitive finishers used and they are a joy to perform and watch. If you think that this just sounds like a mindless beat em up experience....you'd be right. However, just killing the other contestants isn't enough to progress to the next level. The game forces you to be creative and use the environment to dispatch your enemies. Each level is only finished after dealing with the boss of the area. But, you must first earn enough points to be able to challenge the boss. Killing a guy with your chainsaw is fun, but only routine. Putting a tire around a guy, shoving a street sign through his head, and impaling him on a spiked wall will triple your score and help unlock the final encounter. There are also mini games to help you score like man-darts, or hurling as many people you can into a jet engine. (the mere thought of that last one makes me smile!)

I've heard some complain about the game's short length. You'll get about five hours of content on your first playthrough. This isn't a game that you want to spend hours at a time with anyways. It works the best in short doses that leaves you wanting more. Over the top violence......over the top bosses......and over the top fun makes Madworld one to own for the Wii.

Sin City's Marv would feel right at home in Madworld

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Why we Wii

I would definately classify myself as a hardcore gamer....however..in recent years..and due to the popularity of the Wii with the soccer mom type crowd..I find myself enjoying the types of casual games that nintendo is offering on the Gamecube2.0. Whenever my family has a holiday get together...it is usually inevitable that we will turn on my nephews Wii and have a Rock Band session...or get lost in all of the silly mini games that Warioware Wii offers...and I admit...we have a lot of fun doing it. I own a Wii and it is usually not my console of choice. For every original title like No More Heros..there is a thousand crappy titles to wade through like Cooking Cake Dog Turd Tortoise party or something else quickly produced with only dollar signs in mind and no care of innovation. In the end...the Wii is simply another flavor on the menu...I can always eat pizza as my favorite junk food...but sometimes...I want tacos instead..and thats OK because there is room in the video game world for all kinds of different tastes!

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Lets Talk Nintendo.

Apparently, Nintendo has boarded the crazy train, and Shigeru Miyamoto is the conductor. I won't re-hash descriptions of it since you can find those elsewhere, but he filed a patent last year that would basically turn games into movies. Forget about the technical aspects of what that patent entails. I want to talk about the idea itself. I agree with Jonathan Blow when he said, "The defining characteristic of a game is that you play it." No shit. If you don't play a game, then what the hell are you doing? What's the point of paying hundreds of dollars on a console just so you can watch events unfold like a movie? A dvd is 10 bucks, and it doesn't take a dozen hours to watch.


We all know Nintendo isn't really about hardcore gamers anymore. This notion of just skipping around and watching a game is paramount to my argument that they've abandoned their roots. Yes, I'm aware that by encouraging non-gamers to pick up a console, they're allowing the industry far more growth than would otherwise be possible. And by "the industry", I mean Nintendo. Just look at their system. With so much of that growth already in place, what have you played on the Wii lately? Why do you own one?


I want you to know that question is not condescending. I'm genuine in my curiosity as to why anyone would want a Wii. What do you get out of it? Is buying the system worth the couple hours or so you'd get a loved one to play Wii Sports with you? Why not just watch a movie or play a board game with them?


I've heard people say that having a non-gamer participate in a hobby they love is worth the price of admission. The problem is, they're not joining in your hobby, and they still can't relate to the gaming lifestyle. That's not the growth I want or care enough to participate in.


You either love games or you don't, simple as that. And no dvd player masquerading as a gaming console will change that fact. The more Nintendo pushes me away, the less I care about what they have to contribute to the medium I love so much. If you own a Wii and are interested in what they're doing, tell me why. Maybe you can change my mind about all this, but I won't hold my breath.

Nintendo, Clint is talking to you.

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